They Say You Shouldn’t Have Regrets, But I’ll Tell You Mine Anyway - College Edition

An unsolicited yet invaluable exposé of my college experience.

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In the midst of the unforeseen 2020 global pandemic, I became a college freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. Soon after, I lost my older sister to suicide, and my usual overachieving attitude began to dwindle - the most important thing for me at the time was showing up and not dropping out. 

Somehow, I successfully managed to graduate one semester early, however, during the journey I made so many mistakes that just weren’t cute. If I could go back, these are the five ones I would avoid. And since time travel isn’t possible, I’m hoping this list might benefit someone college-bound who hopes to learn from other people’s blunders.

1. Binge Drinking

I’d always been one of those goody-two-shoes who never thought my lips would touch a drop of alcohol. I eventually became exposed to drinking in my inner circles. At some point, it suddenly felt like my social life revolved around it, and I used it as a crutch for social anxiety. 

I began to love the way alcohol would make me feel, how it took away my ever-conscious thoughts and broke me out of my shell. I later realized drinking came at a cost; it made me sad, brought out obnoxious qualities I didn’t know I had, put me in danger, jeopardized my health, and straight-up made me look like a fool on countless occasions (#yolo?). 

It took me so long to realize that I, like everyone else, is susceptible to peer pressure. If I could go back, boy would I have never taken the first sip just because it was what everyone else was doing. Even more so, I wish I knew that drinking in moderation is possible, and I didn’t have to party hard just because I’m young - and that believe it or not… there will always be another night out, even after my college days come to an end.

Moreover, I wish I didn’t deem my nights-in on the weekends as failures, in fact I wish I had more of them. I didn’t know at the time that many other students actually preferred staying in, focusing on their studies and their future instead of getting wasted in sticky house basements or bar dance floors.

2. Being Self-Conscious in Class

Looking back, I realize how easy it actually is to make friends inside the classroom. The first step is to summon the courage to simply make eye contact and say hello on the first day, when students are taking their seats.

I wish I wasn’t afraid to look over my shoulder and smile at the person who sat next to me and ask them what their name was or engage in friendly banter with them during class. I wish I realized they were just another student like me hoping to make friends, or at the very least, form a pleasant connection during class that could help them get through their semester a little easier. 

Keeping my guard up during class also made it more difficult for me to feel fully comfortable sharing an answer or asking a question. By releasing any self-conscious thoughts about myself, I could have thrived even more while learning.

3. Avoiding Adulting

If I could go back, I would have taken advantage of one of the primary purposes of getting further education: career development and networking. At my school, there were career fairs every semester, table talks with professionals, and access to job and internship opportunities. 

Despite all of this, I’m not sure if I ever stepped foot in the career center. It took me three years to even start applying for an internship - and luckily I was able to complete my first one during my very last semester as a senior. I wish I had the courage to sign up for a resume-workshop or mock interview. 

Maybe instead of pouring my energy into a part-time food service job that I didn’t need to have, I could’ve tried out internships during the semester or summer breaks to find out about potential career paths. 

Not everyone has the privilege to choose an unpaid internship over a job that pays the bills but is unrelated to their studies, but I would encourage those who do to take advantage of it. Now that I’ve graduated, I feel as if I have to make up for lost time.

4. Not Exploring Alternative Therapy

At my university, there were numerous free resources I could have explored to better my mental health. From traditional counseling to “Therapy Dog Tuesdays.” I could have signed up for “Mindful Yoga” or visited the Center for Creativity to engage in art-making for free. 

There were also several group counseling opportunities - the one in particular I always wanted to try but never did was a grief support group for those who lost a loved one. 

At most universities, there are avenues for students to seek mental health support, sometimes in more unconventional ways that can help heal the mind naturally. The biggest thing stopping most people is just showing up.

5. Being a Bed Potato

I’d love to have another chance to spread a blanket out on the grass on campus and pretend to study, an ambience of car horns and student chatter surrounding me. I wish I dared to step inside the gym more often and venture out of my treadmill comfort-zone to the weight rack or one of the intimidating machines, where I was always too afraid to actually read the instructions in case anyone would judge me (Girl, nobody was even looking at you). 

I wish I found a quiet spot in the library, instead of finding solace in the safety of my bed and my favorite TV show. I’m proud that I tried out several clubs as a freshman- like the time I woke up at 6am to join the “Sunrise Club” in their morning run as a complete beginner runner (I won’t mention the part about my legs giving out within the first five minutes) - but I wish I actually stuck with them and found a community with shared-interests. 

It is there I not only could have made more human connections but fostered a sense of purpose. Instead, I let my bed be my only safe haven.

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There’s not much I can do about these mistakes now as an alum, fresh out of my grad cap and gown (actually never mind, it’s already been nine months since I graduated). I’m pretty excited to be finished with that chapter of my life, in which I faced many mental obstacles that prevented me from succeeding in the same way the old me could have. 

Yet the thing is - I still gave it my all. By reflecting on my regrets, perhaps I can help guide someone who is in the same shoes I was four years ago, as I watched video after video looking for college advice on YouTube. I know that they’ll be fine. And despite all the information they’re soaking up on the internet, they, too, will make their own mistakes in time. And that’s the beauty of the human experience.