They Say You Shouldn’t Have Regrets, But I’ll Tell You Mine Anyway - College Edition

An unsolicited yet invaluable exposé of my college experience.

---

In the midst of the unforeseen 2020 global pandemic, I became a college freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. Soon after, I lost my older sister to suicide, and my usual overachieving attitude began to dwindle - the most important thing for me at the time was showing up and not dropping out. 

Somehow, I successfully managed to graduate one semester early, however, during the journey I made so many mistakes that just weren’t cute. If I could go back, these are the five ones I would avoid. And since time travel isn’t possible, I’m hoping this list might benefit someone college-bound who hopes to learn from other people’s blunders.

1. Binge Drinking

I’d always been one of those goody-two-shoes who never thought my lips would touch a drop of alcohol. I eventually became exposed to drinking in my inner circles. At some point, it suddenly felt like my social life revolved around it, and I used it as a crutch for social anxiety. 

I began to love the way alcohol would make me feel, how it took away my ever-conscious thoughts and broke me out of my shell. I later realized drinking came at a cost; it made me sad, brought out obnoxious qualities I didn’t know I had, put me in danger, jeopardized my health, and straight-up made me look like a fool on countless occasions (#yolo?). 

It took me so long to realize that I, like everyone else, is susceptible to peer pressure. If I could go back, boy would I have never taken the first sip just because it was what everyone else was doing. Even more so, I wish I knew that drinking in moderation is possible, and I didn’t have to party hard just because I’m young - and that believe it or not… there will always be another night out, even after my college days come to an end.

Moreover, I wish I didn’t deem my nights-in on the weekends as failures, in fact I wish I had more of them. I didn’t know at the time that many other students actually preferred staying in, focusing on their studies and their future instead of getting wasted in sticky house basements or bar dance floors.

2. Being Self-Conscious in Class

Looking back, I realize how easy it actually is to make friends inside the classroom. The first step is to summon the courage to simply make eye contact and say hello on the first day, when students are taking their seats.

I wish I wasn’t afraid to look over my shoulder and smile at the person who sat next to me and ask them what their name was or engage in friendly banter with them during class. I wish I realized they were just another student like me hoping to make friends, or at the very least, form a pleasant connection during class that could help them get through their semester a little easier. 

Keeping my guard up during class also made it more difficult for me to feel fully comfortable sharing an answer or asking a question. By releasing any self-conscious thoughts about myself, I could have thrived even more while learning.

3. Avoiding Adulting

If I could go back, I would have taken advantage of one of the primary purposes of getting further education: career development and networking. At my school, there were career fairs every semester, table talks with professionals, and access to job and internship opportunities. 

Despite all of this, I’m not sure if I ever stepped foot in the career center. It took me three years to even start applying for an internship - and luckily I was able to complete my first one during my very last semester as a senior. I wish I had the courage to sign up for a resume-workshop or mock interview. 

Maybe instead of pouring my energy into a part-time food service job that I didn’t need to have, I could’ve tried out internships during the semester or summer breaks to find out about potential career paths. 

Not everyone has the privilege to choose an unpaid internship over a job that pays the bills but is unrelated to their studies, but I would encourage those who do to take advantage of it. Now that I’ve graduated, I feel as if I have to make up for lost time.

4. Not Exploring Alternative Therapy

At my university, there were numerous free resources I could have explored to better my mental health. From traditional counseling to “Therapy Dog Tuesdays.” I could have signed up for “Mindful Yoga” or visited the Center for Creativity to engage in art-making for free. 

There were also several group counseling opportunities - the one in particular I always wanted to try but never did was a grief support group for those who lost a loved one. 

At most universities, there are avenues for students to seek mental health support, sometimes in more unconventional ways that can help heal the mind naturally. The biggest thing stopping most people is just showing up.

5. Being a Bed Potato

I’d love to have another chance to spread a blanket out on the grass on campus and pretend to study, an ambience of car horns and student chatter surrounding me. I wish I dared to step inside the gym more often and venture out of my treadmill comfort-zone to the weight rack or one of the intimidating machines, where I was always too afraid to actually read the instructions in case anyone would judge me (Girl, nobody was even looking at you). 

I wish I found a quiet spot in the library, instead of finding solace in the safety of my bed and my favorite TV show. I’m proud that I tried out several clubs as a freshman- like the time I woke up at 6am to join the “Sunrise Club” in their morning run as a complete beginner runner (I won’t mention the part about my legs giving out within the first five minutes) - but I wish I actually stuck with them and found a community with shared-interests. 

It is there I not only could have made more human connections but fostered a sense of purpose. Instead, I let my bed be my only safe haven.

***

There’s not much I can do about these mistakes now as an alum, fresh out of my grad cap and gown (actually never mind, it’s already been nine months since I graduated). I’m pretty excited to be finished with that chapter of my life, in which I faced many mental obstacles that prevented me from succeeding in the same way the old me could have. 

Yet the thing is - I still gave it my all. By reflecting on my regrets, perhaps I can help guide someone who is in the same shoes I was four years ago, as I watched video after video looking for college advice on YouTube. I know that they’ll be fine. And despite all the information they’re soaking up on the internet, they, too, will make their own mistakes in time. And that’s the beauty of the human experience.

Get Your Horse-ridin’, Star-gazin’, Restaurant-hoppin’, Canyon-watchin’, Window-shoppin’ Fix All in One Place

You just might fall in love with this little town called Wellsboro.

---

Somewhere in the Pennsylvania outback, along U.S. Route 6, lies an inconspicuous town neighboring rolling fields of farmland and humbling mountains. When you reach it, you'll feel as if you’ve discovered a beautiful secret place in the middle of nowhere. It’s a slower-paced life that quiets the mind, comforts the eyes, and itches the soul in all the right places. And come nighttime, the skies nearby are the darkest you’ll find on the east coast. 

Wellsboro is a borough in Tioga county home to just about 3,500 residents. Black gas lamps dot the grassy median dissecting Main Street. Sophora japonica, a type of deciduous tree whose leaves look like paint-spatters, hug the quaint businesses lining the road that’s the focal point of town. 

Taking a stroll down this road is its very own attraction. Karen’s Country Store is an endearing shop. Throughout the year you might find various antiques, jewelry, seasonal items, home decor, souvenirs, maple syrup, honey, and, of course, jam (frog-, bear-, and toe-flavored). Right next door is the Main Street Creamery, a homey ice cream shop that smells absolutely delicious. The bees nearby always seem to buzz with delight when customers sit down at the outdoor tables. Don’t worry, they’re friendly and just want a taste. 

There’s so much to eat in this little town. From local cafés and bars to pizza places and steakhouse restaurants. There’s Chinese, Italian, Mexican, and All-American cuisine up for grabs in the span of a few blocks. And before you think that this town really is in the middle of nowhere, never fear - for there’s a CVS, Rite Aid, Dunkin’ Donuts, McDonald’s, and UPMC hospital all within walking distance. There are department stores stocked with all the gear anyone might need and plenty of bed and breakfasts, inns, and hotels in the area. You’d never have to leave if you didn’t want to. 

On the corner of East Avenue sits Pop’s Culture Shoppe, an unimposing store with large windows displaying books, toys, and games. They’re open daily except on Sundays, and on Fridays, their store hours are “10-late” according to the sign on their entrance. Tucked in the back of the store is Pop’s playroom, where you’ll find stacks upon stacks of board games of all kinds, packed like tetris blocks on long brown bookshelves. 

You can sit down at one of the tables and play games free of charge. It’s where my family and I sat and played a game I’ll never forget: Ghost Blitz. It’s not the game, necessarily, that made it unforgettable. It was just the nature of sitting down with them in that little game shop, in that little town, in a part of the state I’d never known existed. It was the laughter and spontaneity of the moment.

The Wellsboro Diner across the street was built in 1939 and is almost like a time machine, with its red and white checkered floors, cream-white booths, stools at the countertop, and a retro red sign on its exterior. It’s noted to be among some of the best classic diners in the U.S.

Down the street you’ll find the over-a-century-old Arcadia Theatre. Beware, the seats don’t recline like the ones in some modern theatres, but the experience is surely more memorable. Its original one-screen room used to seat nearly a thousand people (I can only imagine the view from the last row), and tickets from its first-ever showing cost as little as 15 cents. What a time to be alive. 

One of the strangest, most beautiful sights I saw in town was St. Paul’s Episcopol Church on Pearl Street, a historic building with Romanesque architecture. At first glance, it looks like a tiny medieval stone castle smack dab in the middle of the neighborhood. Or maybe I’m just being dramatic. It’s eye-catching, nonetheless. The church’s first services began back in 1838. It continues to be a place of worship and even has a neat thrift store in the basement where you’ll find used items like clothing, shoes, and books. Each odd find seems to contain its own little personality. It’s there where I was able to stock up on some Lisa Gardner mysteries.

The Pine Creek Gorge, most famously known as the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon, takes second place in the most fascinating sights I saw outside the town’s limits. This 47-mile-long and about a thousand-foot-deep valley (1,450 feet at its deepest point) is carved through the Tioga State Forest. The magic of Wellsboro became that much more real once I laid my eyes on the natural wonders just a stone’s throw away.

Leonard Harrison State Park and Colton Point State Park surround the canyon on both sides. Leonard Harrison State Park, located on the East Rim, tends to attract more tourists as it is more developed. Colton Point State Park, located on the West Rim, has been described as more primitive… but I mean, what else can you expect from a national forest and canyon? Both parks offer opportunities for rafting, kayaking, horse-riding, wagon rides, hiking, biking, birding, hunting, and fishing (wow I’m out of breath). There are numerous trails and overlooks to explore, some of which cater to families with young children and others that can satisfy experienced hikers. 

I’d like to think of myself as a person who likes to hike, but I’m sort of a fake fan. The two times I’ve been to the canyon with my family, we took the easiest trail and stopped by the most convenient overlook on the roadside. Let’s just say that looking at nature is rewarding in and of itself, so not having to climb a steep cliff and sacrifice my life didn’t make the view any less breathtaking.

If you drive further out, about 45 minutes west, you’ll stumble upon my first place pick: Cherry Springs State Park, an 82-acre international dark sky park in Coudersport, PA. It’s a sad fact that I’ve never seen the sky darker in my life than when I visited the park at age 21. I’d never seen the Milky Way with my own eyes, and I almost thought that the spread of stars overhead were fog. Then I realized, nope, that’s just the universe! Light pollution is such a bummer.

The park has a place for casual star-gazers, overnight campers, or even more serious sky-watchers and astronomers. Although white light isn’t prohibited in the Night Sky Public Viewing Area, the use of red filters are encouraged to preserve the night sky. Basically, don’t be that jerk after dark in the parking lot with your headlights on for an extended period. 

My only complaint with the park was the outhouse, which I can confirm was very spooky. But it was so worth every second of star-gazing. When it was time to leave for the 45-minute drive back to town, I couldn’t peel my eyes from the incredible view before me.

After our trip to Cherry Springs, returning to Wellsboro felt like home. Every time we visit, we even make sure to book the same hotel room. So I can confidently say that although people frequently flock to beaches or big cities for vacation, there’s something extraordinary about the countryside. 

Next time you’re planning a getaway, consider Wellsboro as your destination. And see what other secrets you

can find.

Where the heck is Wellsboro, anyway?

• 5 hours east of Cleveland, OH

• 3.5 hours southeast of Erie, PA

• 2.5 hours south of Rochester, NY

• 4 hours northeast of Pittsburgh, PA 

• 4 hours northwest of Philadelphia, PA

Top Picks in Wellsboro:

• Lodging: Penn Well’s Lodge

• Grocery Store: Top’s market

• Park: The Green

• Restaurant: The Roost

• Ice Cream: The Main Street Creamery

• Theatre: Arcadia Theatre

• Games: Pop’s Culture Shoppe

Top Picks near Wellsboro:

• Trail & Overlook: Barbour Rock Trail (1.3 miles out-and-back. Leads to the popular Barbour Rock Overlook)

• Horse-riding: Triple D Farms

• Star-gazing: Cherry Springs State Park, Night Sky Public Viewing Area

For This Little Girl, Being Strong Was the Only Choice She Had

At just 9 years old, she suddenly lost her health, mobility, and hair, but she refused to lose her smile.

---

When Alexia Graham, known as Lexi, was diagnosed with a rare type of brain cancer just a few weeks after her ninth birthday, the first thing she asked was, “Am I going to die?”

“That’s what happens to people when they have cancer,” Lexi said to her mother, Alana. “They die.”

The fear of her diagnosis came from a place of uncertainty. Even Alana admitted she didn’t quite understand what the diagnosis meant, and it took a while for her to process.

“She was scared,” Alana told me.

Their journey began in early 2023 in South London, UK, where Lexi, her parents, and her two younger siblings live. 

As I spoke with them over Zoom, just as casually as Lexi talked about her hobbies, she told me about the central line doctors placed in her body during surgery. It ran through her jugular vein, providing access to her heart, where they could give her treatment and withdraw blood.

The line not only left her with a scar, but she became very weak, losing her strength and mobility. 

Lexi went from being a very active, sporty child to not being able to move her arms or brush her teeth. She had to relearn how to walk and was in a wheelchair for some time.

She frequently picked up infections between cycles of chemotherapy, where she’d be hooked up for a full week to an IV. 

After each cycle, Lexi would ordinarily have two weeks of rest, but it was almost always interrupted by a sudden infection and another hospital stay, which meant Lexi had no time to go home. During long hospital stays, she would look forward to weekly therapy dog visits.

Her type of cancer is rare. Under most circumstances, cancer cells multiply by duplicating, producing the same cell, meaning a single cancerous cell can produce a tumor consisting of billions of its carbon copies. In Lexi’s case, her cancer was multiplying but producing a different cell each time. This meant that no singular treatment would be effective. 

During the call, I learned about Beads of Courage, an international nonprofit organization that caters to children with serious illnesses in countries like the UK, the U.S., Australia, and Japan. Their programs provide beads to children, each representing a difficult part of their treatment journey. Different colored beads represent different treatments.

“Lexi has been collecting all her beads,” Alana said, informing me that black beads represent blood draws, yellow beads represent hospital stays, and white beads with hearts represent intensive care stays. There are many other beads, too; whites, greens, blues, reds, browns, and star-shaped.

Lexi’s beads loop around nearly 5 times as long as she is tall. She enthusiastically laid them out on the floor for me to see.

“This is probably the longest yellow.” she said pointing to one portion, which her mom confirmed was a three-month hospital stay. 

Lexi’s cancer treatment also caused her to lose her hair, which used to fall to her waist. She dreaded returning to school, fearing that kids would make fun of her, and she didn’t like to take off her knitted hat. Given all the days she had to miss school, she experienced a bit of a learning gap, but through it all, her friends have been very supportive.

Her journey with cancer also took a mental toll on her entire family. 

“As a parent when you see your child going through something like that,” Alana said. “you suffer in the same way.”

The ordeal sent Alana and her husband into practical mode, and they wrestled with emotions while remaining strong for their children. 

Alana characterized the experience as “out of body,” a parent’s “worst nightmare,” and as constantly “thinking ahead,” on the next difficulty to prepare for whether it is the next surgery or chemotherapy.

Fortunately, Lexi’s treatment concluded at the end of November 2023, but her life will never be the same. There are still hospital visits and tests.

Despite everything, Alana feels thankful. Last year, they met other children going through similar situations, many of whom had worse treatments and cancers. Some of those children didn’t make it.

“We do believe that she was healed,” Alana said. “Anything to do with cancer where you got out the other end, I think is a miracle.”

Faith, prayer, and the support of family and friends have guided Lexi and her family through the entire ordeal. 

“God has been our anchor in this storm,” Alana said. Throughout Lexi’s time in the hospital, she even felt the presence of God around her, which gave her peace and reassurance.

Lexi said her biggest hero has been her mom, who she calls brave. She also wants other kids like her to know that despite our differences, “we’re all the same on the inside, and we’re all kind.”

Alana wants other parents going through this to know that they shouldn’t isolate themselves, and they shouldn’t be ashamed to accept help, whether it’s a home-cooked meal from a neighbor or emotional support from a friend.

Lexi, now 10, often spends her weekends at the local Girls Club playing soccer with friends or making art at home. She looks forward to her last year of primary (elementary) school, and her hair has grown back in beautiful brown curls. Throughout the entire ordeal, she has never stopped smiling. 

Her beads of courage now hang in their living room on a wooden sign engraved with the Bob Marley quote, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

To follow Lexi’s story, check out her Instagram page.

The following is a list of resources Alana found helpful during their journey:

• “Anna loses her hair,” - A children’s guide to hair loss as a result of cancer treatment

• “My brother or sister has cancer,” - A children’s guide to coping with cancer

• “When your brother or sister has cancer,” - An information guide for teenagers and young adults whose sibling is diagnosed with cancer

• “Supporting brothers and sisters” - A practical information guide for parents and other adults who are caring for siblings of a child with cancer

• “Olly the Brave for Brothers and Sisters; Ben’s Big Stuff,” - Diane Maybey

• “Olly the Brave and the Wigglys” - Diane Maybey

• “Olly being Brave and Chemotherapy” - Diane Maybey